I love my son. He is intelligent, curious, creative, and adorable. He is frequently well-behaved, despite being in the "Terrible Twos" range. As much as he may frustrate me at times, I am deeply proud of him and am, daily, glad of the fact that he is in my life. I would not give him up for anything...
But I would appreciate the option of paying someone to watch him for a few hours, maybe twice a month.
At present, that's just not an option for financial reasons. Even when I do have some spare cash, though, I simply do not know any babysitters in our area. The nearest relatives are an hour away, and have enough physical difficulties that it would be, at best, hard on them to keep up with a toddler.
This comes about because: for the past couple of months I have been making the 1.5-2 hour drive, every other week, to play Shadowrun with the old Tuesday Group(tm). But as much as I enjoy seeing the guys, and getting out for a game, this is just not a sustainable situation for a few reasons.
1) Again, money: Gasoline is not cheap. Purchasing nothing else, a round trip costs about $13. That may not sound like much, but seeing as how my current job is giving me no work, has not given any work for about two weeks, and doesn't expect to have any additional work until the middle of the month, I'm counting every penny.
2) Time: The game goes from 7pm to 10pm - three hours. Often, I'll end up spending another hour just talking with my friends, reviewing the game, making plans for the next one, etc. But the game itself is three hours, which means I'm spending at least as much time on the road as I am at the table. This also means I'm leaving home at around 5pm and not returning until midnight or later.
3) Fairness to my wife: She's been wonderful and sweet, and was the one who insisted I start going to the games, but there is no equal and opposite reaction here. I go off and have fun in tabletop gaming, leaving her to watch our son. She does not have a group of friends to go hang out and game with for hours at a time, and so I have no way to reciprocate the favor.
Ideally, we'd love to find a local gaming group that both of us can participate in together. I actually do know of a couple of people in the area who are gamers, and would most likely welcome us to the table.
But our son, as bright and talented as he is, is still a toddler. He is not going to sit still on a lap for several hours while Mommy and Daddy are bashing goblins. While he is getting close to the point where he might enjoy similar pursuits, he most likely will not have the attention span to maintain that interest for an extended period of time. For the moment, then, unless we game in our own home (and oftentimes even then) we will expend more time and energy trying to wrangle with him than with monsters.
The experience has given me a new appreciation for what my parents must have gone through while raising me, and adds a new perspective to the memories I have of their tabletop games during my early years. I could argue that they had an advantage in the fact that my mother was frequently the DM, since I imagine a lot of players would be more willing to put up with having a kid around (alternately wanting to play, seeking attention, making noise, and then running off when focus is lost only to return five minutes later wanting to play the game again) if it meant that they didn't have to run a game themselves, and the DM is generally more forgiving of having the game they've put together interrupted when the disturbance is caused by their own child. Still, I imagine they may have lost some players, or simply had fewer of them, due to my presence. And I'm certain I kept them from playing as often as they may have liked.
Maybe I'll see about trying to run a local game myself. I've been working on a system, and looking for opportunities to playtest it, but I've currently got absolutely zilch as far as campaign ideas go. I'd also have to overcome my anxiety of inviting strangers into my house, since there really isn't any local gathering place I'm aware of that would look too kindly on playing D&D, no matter what version or variant. And, of course, there's the cleaning to do.
*glances around*
Maybe we could try the local Hardees instead. They ARE open 24 hours...
2 comments:
1. You were always - always - more important than anything else, including gaming.
2. You were exceptionally well-behaved most of the time.
3. Having the games in our own home meant you had access to all your toys, your room, food, and any other needs.
4. Your dad would usually deal with problems so I could run the game.
5. Toddlerhood doesn't last forever. It SEEMS like forever, but you almost miss it when it's gone.
6. You joined us, on occasion, as early as age 2.5, playing someone's familiar. You got your own first character, independent of anyone else's, when you were almost four.
7. Hang in there. :) Love ya!
If concern over strangers in your house is a biggie for you, try bringing in one at a time, to start a character and have a solo game for backstory purposes. It's a little easier when you outnumber the visitors, and by the time you're ready for a group game they won't feel quite as strange.
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